August 2008
McDonald’s playland on a Saturday evening. Feels like the place where parenting goes to die.
Everyone near me here at work is out. I am now in complete control over the stereo, the thermostat and whether or not I have to wear pants.
Well, at least McCain has chosen someone to balance the GOP ticket. Palin was once Miss Congeniality in a beauty contest.
Is McCain sure that Palin is ready to fill Dick Cheney’s shoes? Does she have experience as The Dark Lord? Can she shoot people in the face?
I don’t care who McCain’s VP choice is, as long as it’s NOT me or anyone I’m related to. That would just be too embarrassing.
I made a video: http://tinyurl.com/5s7auu It’s about my daughter who left for college. Your weeping may vary (YWMV) after seeing it.
I overslept, so the 14 year old is missing a bunch of junior high school this morning. He can thank me later.
I have hate in my heart for the person who sent me a critical file as a StuffIt archive. “Why, good madam, do you hate me and America?”
Daughter is packed and ready to leave for college today: MacBook, 3 funny hats and a jumbo bag of gummi bears. Holy crap, I’ll miss her.
On this day nineteen years ago, I married the love of my life. What a strange, yet wonderful trip it’s been. Looking forward to 19 more!
And now the power is out again. I need a hug.
More email I can’t send: Dear client, when you make us put your huge, ugly logo on *every* page of an 8pg document, you make puppies cry. —j
After a trip to IKEA, døes ånyøne else spend the rest öf the day speäking in a bad Swedish accent? Jüst me? (Bork! Bork! Bork!)
Great Moments in Customer Service. Power company just called to tell us our power was back on. As if we somehow wouldn’t have noticed.
This is weirdest thing I’ve read all week. *Mick Jagger* is one of the producers of the movie _The Women_ http://tinyurl.com/5wp7qn (scroll)
PR people are trying to get me to write about tampons on my site. Awkward. Don’t they know I’m post-menopausal?
Wife: You must have some truly amazing brain chemistry. Me: Why? Wife: It’s remarkable. All that crap in there and yet you are always happy.
In case you were wondering, the iPhone 2.0.2 update does contain magical sparkle ponies. —Sent from my Sparkle Pony 2.0.2
Wife: “Sometimes I feel like all our familial interactions are just fodder for your blog or twitter.” Me: “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Will not be doing “Yearbook Yourself” yearbookyourself.com/ Some of us have known for LONG time that H.S. Yearbook photos are *super* cool.
Simplify Media + WiFi (or 3G) + iPhone == almost indistinguishable from magic. So cool.
I should be Obama’s V.P. “Change we can believe in” is not just a slogan with me. I’ve had FOUR kids in diapers. I know all about Change.
Ten yr. old: “OW! Ellis kicked me in the face!” Ellis (5): “It was an accident. I was aiming for his forehead.”
I went home for lunch and found an infestation of teenage D&D players. I leave as an exercise to the reader a description of the odor.
Hey! A recommendation meme thing. Off the top of my head: @phillygirl @echuckles @Tony_D @jimray and @SeoulBrother, because he’s so dreamy.
I’m not even sure my car could do 100 meters in less than 10 seconds.
Wife comes home tomorrow. Beginning massive kitchen clean up procedures. And I really should go find the 10 year old. Goober wandered off.
OK, twitter, you can take a rest with the poop jokes today. I have my 10 yr. old here at work with me, so I’m well stocked.
Found the 10 yr. old. He drained my 401K and made himself a giant fort out of Legos in the backyard. I’d be pissed, but the fort is way cool
Wife is home and sees some of her (now dead) plants. “Hey, I watered the kids! They’re OK!” I say. Going over about as well as you’d imagine
This may be a dumb question, but people have checked to make sure this Phelps guy isn’t a cyborg, haven’t they? I mean, he could be SkyNet.
Not bugged that I lose when I play the 5 yr old at the Disney Princess Memory Game, but grumpy that I lose even though I cheat outrageously.
Simple way to end the controversy over the age of the Chinese gymnasts. Cut them in half and count the rings.
Def’n of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Or, trying to make new site layout look decent in IE6.
Two weeks from today our oldest daughter leaves for college. We did our best and she turned out great: A Mac user and not a Republican.
Wife is leaving for 4 days to take über-important deposition, leaving me in charge here at home. Draw your own conclusions.
Client wants impossible things done in Photoshop. I’m tempted to offer to do impossible things to them with a Wacom pen.
The degree of difficulty for my evening: 6.8. But that’s mostly because I had a tricky time getting into my spandex outfit.
When the IOC finally accepts my petition to get “Bob Costas Tossing” sanctioned as a competitive sport at the Olympics, I WILL RULE ALL.
As my wife drives away, the weeping and wailing at the end of the driveway begins. Kids drag me back into the house so I can blow my nose.
5 yr. old is home and grumpy from her first sleepover. Now detailing to us all the ways her friend’s family is so much better than ours.
Me: So, Edwards had an affair. Her: Oh, with a man? Me: No! He’s not a Republican.
