October 2008
Subtle irony? The iTunes Essentials “Funeral” playlist uses the “The Basics,” “Next Steps,” & “Deep Cuts” nomenclature. http://is.gd/3mb3
September 2008
Wife to 5 yr. old: Wow, Dad is right, you ARE grumpy in the morning. Ellis: NO, I’M NOT! And then she shanked my wife with a Barbie-leg shiv
The McCain campaign has lowered expectations for Palin’s debate so far that if she doesn’t trip over the podium or drool, “VICTORY IS OURS!”
Was I super tardy for work this morning after being on vacation for an entire week? Hell, yeah. See, I’m gangsta.
Smuggled a handful of Skittles to the 5 yr old. “This means Daddy loves you MORE.” Why, yes, I am going to hell.
Wife & the 5 yr old are arguing about whether Skittles constitute “real food.” How do I break it to wife that I’m siding with the 5 yr old?
I’ve spent an entire week in the company of lawyers, and I’ve learned one thing: belt clipped Blackberries are apparently high fashion.
Lest anyone ever doubt my devotion to my wife; yesterday I walked 5.5 miles to buy her “feminine protection products,” advil, and diet coke.
They just came to check on the status of the mini-bar. I don’t know how long I can keep them at bay with “I’m in the tub, come back …
What is it about a hotel mini-bar that makes a teeny $11 jar of macadamia nuts the MOST DESIRABLE thing on the face of the planet to me?
I’m about to get on a plane so small, there is a guy in front twisting the propeller until the rubber band is completely taut so we can go.
And then of course, his mother threatened to lop pieces of him off if he continued to call females “chicks.” Apparently casual misogyny==bad
I asked the 14 yr old why he’s taking Ballroom Dance instead of normal P.E. “It’s better. It’s fun. And… chicks.” He may be an evil genius.
Got an invite to register for the SLC marathon. Yeah, like I’m *that* dumb that I’d fall for something like that again.
Baking cookies with my boys. Being very manly about it though. They are Extreme KickAss Nuggets of Appetizing Joy. Not snickerdoodles.
Rejected Font Nerd/McCain-is-old joke: “McCain is so old, ‘Caslon Antique’ would have looked perfect for his logo.” And… I’m stopping now.
“Me and my roommate are watching all of Futurama.” That’s not some kind of code for “wild weekend of booze, E. and sex” is it? #panicky_dad
Even though it’s probably not entirely true, as a father I like hearing that my away-at-college daughter has zero plans for the weekend.
Adobe: See, I’m not the only one: http://dearadobe.com/?gripeID=212 Though PLEASE ignore this one: http://dearadobe.com/?gripeID=5996
Found out that my wife *loves* Alan Parsons Project. You live with someone for 19 years and think you know them.
Dear Adobe, I know the “InDesign runs away and hides” bug is really fun and cute, but “Force Quits” all day long are getting a wee bit old.
Dear Adobe, please ignore this one. →
Overheard in the Deli at lunch: “I got poked on Facebook. There’s a way to turn that off, isn’t there?”
80.87.129.114 banned
This is what happens when you let your 5 year old make her own sandwich: http://tinyurl.com/4nvg9u
John McCain is so old he remembers when Century Schoolbook was called New Century Schoolbook.
I explained the acronym “FTW” to a friend. She then gave me a look I interpreted as “How did you ever convince anyone to have sex with you?”
I’m the only one in the studio now. Tasked with answering phones. “Hi this is Jon! I’m not wearing any pants! How may I direct your call?”
Wife just left for Joliet, IL. Either on business or she’s re-creating the car chase from The Blues Brothers. Knowing my wife, could be both
Given the blood bath on Wall Street right now, my deep investments in Beanie Babies and remaindered brown Zunes doesn’t look so insane, huh?
Paiin warns of war with Russia. All my foreign policy knowledge comes from The Princess Bride, but even I know a land war in Asia is bad.
Him: I think we need to do a bad cop/good cop thing on this. Me: Fine. I’ll be the *really* good cop and just stay at home.
Lunch with @apelad today. It’s going to be fun, except that I *have* to wear a hobo costume in his presence and those can be seriously itchy
Yeah, my Mom is from the South. After two days of living here in Salt Lake, she just said to me: “I found a Wal-Mart. I’m going to be OK.”
“Super-collider? Hell, I hardly knew her!” (Am I the 17 millionth person to do that joke? I can’t be bothered to check.)
Made an iTunes 8 “genius” playlist based on a Rush song and iTunes has magically decided it’s time for me to move out of Mom’s basement.
“Genius is unavailable for the song “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds”. Hey Steve, how are the negotiations with The Beatles going, anyway?
Filling the 14 yr. old’s new to him iPod with complete oeuvre of both Led Zeppelin and Madonna. It’s going be so fun to see how he turns out
I’d rather not say how or why I know this, but marvel at this fact: The Love Boat was on for TEN seasons. No wonder the world hates America.
Adobe is set to unveil CS4 on 09/23. Coincidently, that’s about the date when I’ll run out of things to whine about. Yay, new material!
Early childhood development stages at my house: walking, talking, fine motor skills, ability to make fart noises with their hand and armpit.
My non-techy 68 yr. old mother just asked me about tethering her new 3G iPhone. My worldview is now officially set to: freaked out.
