oh hey great: Baseball, cancer, and the game of... →
ohheygreat: I don’t trumpet my love of baseball like a lot of people around here, so it may seem like I’m a World Series-only fan, or even an SF Giants bandwagon fan. But no, I really like baseball. Sometimes I even remember that I love it. Unlike a lot of people, I didn’t grow up a sports fan. I wasn’t your… You should take a few moments today and read this. I’m glad I did.
Things You Should Have Deleted More Quickly (dot)...
I’ve seen a bunch of posts of late that have hash tags like “deleting this later,” “deletable” or “to be deleted” and I just thought that what I’d do is collect all those posts and make a whole separate tumblr bloggy thing for those. Because that would be fun, right? (I’m kid! I kid! I’d never do that.) (But I do have them all in a...
Uh-oh. My funny was in The Beard. I just tried to write funny things in my novel* and the failure was palpable. You probably felt it just now. That little tremor you felt in your left little pinky toe? That was the catastrophic implosion of any talent I have disappearing into the gaping void of inky darkness. Zwoop. It’s gone. Sometimes I forget how to be funny and it basically freaks me...
I’m going to shave off my beard. Right now. Yes, I will take a photo of myself with a 1970s porn star ‘stache. And yes, you won’t be able to sleep tonight after seeing it, that’s how frightening that is.
By the end of the day I will have talked for almost seven straight hours about Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign to an in-house design team at a pretty massive corporation. Current status: hiding in a bathroom stall, because that seems to be the thing to do when one is at a massive corporation.
The other night I went over to a friend’s house for dinner. She owed me dinner for a favor I did for her involving a slightly intractable wireless router/DNS problem and after a healthy application of my nerd mojo, I fixed the problem and scored myself a free meal. And an unexpected offer to become “friends with benefits.” Which I declined. Not that I’m not attracted to...
Freaking Party Animal
It’s 9:30 on a Friday night, all my laundry is done and I’m going to bed. WHO KNOWS HOW TO PARTY HARDER THAN ME? No one, baby. No. One.
Caprice Crane | Procrastinating: Bullseye at... →
capricecrane: He kinda looks like every guy in every 80’s movie who’s gonna beat up the nerd just because he can. Holy high school flashback, Batman! I think this exact doofus stuffed me into a locker between American History and Geometry back in 9th grade.
Client called and they have a “SpongeBob emergency” and need some stuff from us by Monday. Many things about my job are weird, but the best is that I regularly get to deal with things like “SpongeBob emergencies.”
Easy There, Tex
Ex just made a not particularly funny joke to me via email and it’s all I can do not to write back, “Sweetums, stop trying to make with the funny, you’re just going to sprain something.” But, I’m a nice guy… I didn’t say that! Instead I wrote, “Ha! That’s funny! Nice one.” It’s roughly analogous to handing out a star to a tweet...
Taking a few more pain killers and then heading into work. Because my co-workers will love me even more when I start bouncing off the walls and emailing them photos of my body parts; because when I’m stoned on opiates, that’s the kind of thing I’ll always find hilarious. The label says, “Do not operate heavy machinery,” but I don’t see anything on there about...
What I Learned at the Bar Tonight
What I learned at the bar tonight: A mix of drunken women will refuse to believe that even though you bear a striking resemblance to Jim Gaffigan, you are, in fact, not Jim Gaffigan. So much so that you’re forced to do his Hot Pocket routine quite badly, until they decide, “Oh yeah, he’s not Jim Gaffigan, Jim Gaffigan is funny, and he’s not.” And then you go home...
The quiet after my children leave my place is deafening. And suddenly my tiny condo seems cavernous.
Corduroy Pants (by Me) The sixteen year old is obviously a musical genius. I’m sure the major labels will be pounding on his door Real Soon Now™. The lyrics to “Corduroy Pants” are printed below, so you can sing along at home. Whee! “Corduroy Pants” Corduroy pants Corduroy pants Well, corduroy pants are the pants that look like they have stripes, but they don’t…...
The “Happy Few” Project - Two weeks to learn &...
merlin: Link: Happy Few Read More I’m in. Why the hell not?
Which Movie Shall We Go See?
An email to a friend: We should see “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” which is playing @ 3:05. Zach Galifianakis is in it! If you’ve seen that, or you’re a hateful pinko commie puppy molester who wasn’t raised properly and somehow isn’t interested in seeing a Zach Galifianakis movie, then I wouldn’t mind seeing “The Social Network” @ 4:15....
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself as spring opens (touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose or...
smartasshat asked: What button do you hold down when you click "Take photo" so it doesn't take a photo?
blanddiva11-deactivated20121020 asked: Please tell. Can you REALLY turn the flash off in Photobooth?