In Which I Describe the Things That Make Me...
I do the laundry I wash the dishes I vacuum I can spell “vacuum” I send text messages telling various people that they’re awesome and wonderful I fold and put away the laundry I send some emails telling people that I think they are awesome and that I love them I unload the dishwasher I write egregious python code which seems brilliant and logical at the time, but...
In Which I Can't Get to Sleep
It’s 12:53 AM, I have an 8 AM meeting tomorrow morning, I can’t get to sleep and I have the theme song from “Friends” stuck in my head. This will not end well.
All the Napping
Slept for another three hours. I’ve now slept for approximately 20 of the last 24 hours. Two of those remaining four were spent doing unspeakable things in the bathroom. The other two have been spent staring at a book, but not making sense of any of the words. I’m going to call today a bust and just go to bed, never mind that it’s 5:30 in the afternoon.
I woke up this morning, made it to my 8:30 AM meeting (which had been cancelled, natch) and then promptly began to feel like yuck everywhere. I came home; horrible, terrifying things happened in my bathroom, the details of which I won’t share with you; and then I slept for five hours, complete with chills and violent shivering, and nightmares about giant rabbits with hairy teeth. I feel...
Was Just Sitting Here Thinking
You know, life’s pretty great. I’ve got decent health, a great job and despite my best efforts, I haven’t yet succeeded in alienating my children. I am content and happy. And then I remember I posted a picture of myself decked out in a giant testicle costume a few months ago and all those warm fuzzy feelings go straight to hell. So that’s nice.
How Did This Happen?
I can’t believe it. My first time (ever, really) and I end up becoming a cliché. I have the freaking munchies, for crying out loud.
An Addendum to That Last Thing I Wrote
No one has broken up with me in a while. Those were just some of the “greatest hits” culled from a lifetime of getting dumped. I’D HAVE TO HAVE AN ACTUAL SOCIAL LIFE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. Oh good heavens… HERE COMES THE WEEPING AGAIN. But at least I’ll be a hoot while I’m weeping.
A Small Sample of How Women Who Have Broken Up...
“Sweet” “Fucking hilarious” “A super nice guy” “A generous and caring person” “Totally funny!” “Kind” “A great kisser” “A hoot” “Too sweet” “Not someone I can see in a romantic way” “Smart and talented” “Really great to be with” “A...
In Which I Am So Screwed
I have a ginoumous presentation to give tomorrow morning and though I didn’t exactly forget about it, I didn’t really have any time to prepare for it this week. We launched a fairly major site tonight which I was marginally involved with and tomorrow a skanky beta of a site I did get my hands dirty with goes to the client. Mostly though, I’m having a really hard time...