June 2011
In Which I Have A Conversation with My New...
“Holy crap, you scared me!”
“What, I’m just sitting here. Just hanging out and being a spider, you know?”
“Yes, I can see that you’re a spider. But you’re in my tub.”
“So?”
“Well, I’d like to take a shower.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Then why do you have a rubber ducky in your hand?”
“Why are you in my shower?”
“It’s relaxing. And cool. I have a thing for porcelain.”
“You’re going to...
I have to be at work in 12 minutes.
I have an incredibly busy day ahead of me.
I suppose it’s time to get out of bed now.
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luckyshirt replied to your post: In Which I Begin to Understand That the Only Time I’m Ever Interested in Dating Is When I’ve Had Too Much Bourbon
If we aren’t married when we turn 100, let’s marry each other.
Done.
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In Which I Begin to Understand That the Only Time...
Remember a month or so ago when I got tipsy, signed up for Match.com, they gleefully took my $35 and then I promptly crawled back under my rock and ignored my social life?
Yeah, I forgot to cancel my subscription and they dinged me for another $35.
Of course that happened.
The story of my disorganization is not the story I want to tell, though.
Last night I went to a little get together with...
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In Which It Is Hard To Be Me and I’m Reminded of...
Despite demonstrable evidence to the contrary and because of my crushing inferiority complex, I’m always genuinely surprised when someone is happy to see me.
I know. I know. You’d think that someone as adorable as me and who possesses such sparkling charm as myself would be used to the constant adoration and the mild annoyance of being greeted with open arms everywhere he goes....
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OK, I'll Play the “20” Meme Thing
When I was twenty, I was a Mormon missionary, living in Caltanissetta, Italy on the Island of Sicily.
I guess all I really want to say about that is this: I am a much different person now than I was then.
Heh.
In Which I Come to LA and Find the Real “Happiest...
There’s a liquor store next to this coffee shop with free wi-fi.
Happy birthday to me, indeed.
In Which I Sleep Fully Clothed and With My Shoes...
I managed to picked the scariest, skeeziest motel in all of southern California this evening.
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite! And I mean that literally!” Melanee yelled out the window as she sped off as fast as she could after dropped me off after dinner.
I now hate her with the heat of a thousand suns, by the way, because as I look at the bed on the other side of the room, all...
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In Which I Drive Through Beaver, UT and the...
Too.
Many.
Jokes.
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“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They...”
– Quote Details: Kurt Vonnegut: Here is a lesson… - The Quotations Page
Telehack: May the command line live forever →
edp:
zuhl:
Oh my.
via metafilter.
Awesome. And even more awesome is the Metafilter comment thread.
“telnet telehack.com”
“newuser”
“zrun”
SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE, NERDS.
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Telehack: May the command line live forever →
Oh my.
via metafilter.
Everything you say while using binoculars is...
sharingtime:
“Yes. Yes. (softly) You cannot escape my sights. (even softer) All mine.”
“I see it. I can’t tell you what ‘it’ is, but I have it. Oh, do I have it.”
“Not trying to be creepy here or anything.”
“I’m sure glad I have these binoculars that let me see everything up close. Right now I’m using them to deeply stare into the eyes of every man, woman and child that walks by.”
...
