March 2012
In Which I Cheat at Risk and Teach My Children a...
Well, it wasn’t cheating so much as it was encouraging them to leave me alone while I gathered my forces, coercing them to attack each other and goading them to try and take over all of Asia in one gulp.
But what kind of father would I be if I didn’t teach them about the dangers of getting involved in a land war in Asia?
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In Which I Get a Zinger Off
My youngest daughter had a soccer game this morning at the unholy hour of 8:30 on a Saturday.
I was standing a few feet away from my ex and some mutual friends and they were talking about foods our kids will and won’t eat. They mentioned the practice of “hiding” good food (onions, broccoli, other vegetables, etc.) in a dish to get a kid to eat it.
My ex popped out with,...
In Which I Mutter Disparaging Words at One of My...
Every year for Christmas I gift books to each of my children. Books made out of dead trees and printed with the maximum amount of volatile organic compounds allowable by law.
Sometimes I’m old fashioned.
Last year I got the 13 year old three books, only one of which he’s read. I don’t remember the name of it, but I do know that it made him very angry. It’s some kind of...
Co-worker: "Hey, Jon, I need some wisdom here."
Me: "It's cute that you would come to me for that."
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Nightmares
thelastonesinthepool:
Dreamt that I had a blackberry.
Woke up pissed.
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Yeah, Sometimes Our Clients Are Awesome and Stuff
Their dev server is named “toshistation.example.com”
Their staging server?
“uncleowen.example.com”
I *really* hope their production box is aliased to “powerconverters.example.com”.
It Was Sublime
This evening I went to a talent show for my daughter Ellis’ class. She danced. It was adorable, as you would expect the dance performance of an 8 year old might be.
However.
There was a girl whose talent was reciting the names of *all* the Greek gods, while dressed up *as* a Greek god, and hula-hooping.
I WANTED TO ADOPT HER THAT’S HOW AWESOME IT WAS.
If she could find a way...
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February 2012
In Which I Explain How to Do a Server/Site...
Step 0: “Hey, our new client needs us to move their current web site to different servers. That’s not a big deal, right?”
Step 1: Get the code for the Fortune 500 company’s site you need to migrate approximately a month later than you need.
Step 2: Peruse code.
Step 3: Realize code is based on a bunch of crufty PHP, originally written in 2005, with features/hacks/fixes...
