Jon’s Tumblr Thing-y

  1. In Which I Realize the Universe Is Probably Trying to Tell Me Something This morning as I was walking in from the parking lot I dropped my wallet and a heretofore unknown $5 bill fell out. “Hey, cool! Five dollars I didn’t know I had. Free money, whee! I can buy myself a beer at the happy hour thing tonight.” (Yes, I say things like “Free money, whee!” to myself. Don’t hate.) I pick it up and see that it’s not one $5 bill. IT IS TWO FIVE DOLLAR BILLS. We all know what this means. TWO BEERS! At my desk as I’m putting everything back into my wallet, what do I find tucked in between my insurance card and a punch card from my favorite local sandwich shop? A one dollar bill! Now I can leave a *very* cheap tip for my two beers! But, wait! There’s more to the story than just my being a poor tipper. I go to refold up all my newfound moolah and stuff it back into what I’ve now come to see not as a smallish wallet, but really a Bag of Holding and what do I discover? IT IS NOT TWO FIVE DOLLAR BILLS, IT IS *THREE* FIVES. I’m going to get so *fuxxored* up tonight! Or leave a *really* good tip on my two beers.

    In Which I Realize the Universe Is Probably Trying to Tell Me Something

    This morning as I was walking in from the parking lot I dropped my wallet and a heretofore unknown $5 bill fell out.

    “Hey, cool! Five dollars I didn’t know I had. Free money, whee! I can buy myself a beer at the happy hour thing tonight.”

    (Yes, I say things like “Free money, whee!” to myself. Don’t hate.)

    I pick it up and see that it’s not one $5 bill.

    IT IS TWO FIVE DOLLAR BILLS.

    We all know what this means.

    TWO BEERS!

    At my desk as I’m putting everything back into my wallet, what do I find tucked in between my insurance card and a punch card from my favorite local sandwich shop?

    A one dollar bill!

    Now I can leave a *very* cheap tip for my two beers! But, wait! There’s more to the story than just my being a poor tipper.

    I go to refold up all my newfound moolah and stuff it back into what I’ve now come to see not as a smallish wallet, but really a Bag of Holding and what do I discover?

    IT IS NOT TWO FIVE DOLLAR BILLS, IT IS *THREE* FIVES.

    I’m going to get so *fuxxored* up tonight!

    Or leave a *really* good tip on my two beers.

    2. Posted 1 year ago 26 notes

    1. crystaldayala said: where do I buy myself this magic wallet? I mean, surely there is more money hidden in this wallet you have yet to find. Or does it multiply by itself? Why are you sharing this online!!! Someone is bound to take your magic wallet!
    2. yhf said: Holy shit. The Universe is Rebecca Black.
    3. zuhl posted this